Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
