I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Randomize
