Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
