Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
