Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
jump out the window naked night went bad
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
