i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
