If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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