Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
