I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
