someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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