LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
