i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
