DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
