fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
