Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
