Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
