quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
