Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
