I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
