Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
