the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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