Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
