so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
We got so high we made milksteak
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
