Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
