Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
