i need an iv and a liver transplant
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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