he looks like a really good dad on facebook
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
