Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
