Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
