I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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