Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
