windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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