I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Randomize
