his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Randomize
