I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
