Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
