you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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