I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Dignity is for republicans.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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