I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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