Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Found your dick twin last night
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
