It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
