miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
