I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you will always have a special place in my vag
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
