I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
