atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Michael Bay diarrhea
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
