Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
