so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
