I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
