I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
