yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
